Wanting Too Much
Dear Hortense,
What is commitment exactly? My guy does not sleep with others or anything, but my issue is that what we have is great, warm & fun when we meet, when our schedules allow, but other than that, not a lot of contact & it is not like “I am yours, you own me (in a non creepy way 😊).”
I want more than getting to love him & be loved, like, occasionally. But we are quite tied up with each of our kids & his work is not so flexible as mine.
Am I wanting too much out of a future relationship? I want him to also be out of his mind about me & I want him to want to see me almost constantly!
- Quite Tied Up
Dear Quite Tied Up,
At the bare minimum, commitment is monogamy. It is when one partner asks the other partner for exclusivity, fidelity & to build toward a common goal of partnership. He is not everything on your list if he is a partner who does not commit! Partnership is a commitment. Commitment is also a rite of passage & the ritual of the ask is important for ascension to the next level of our magick process.
I know many mothers who are in committed partnerships regardless of their already very present life commitments such as children from previous relationships, their home & their career. If a man wants to be with you, he will move heaven & earth to do so. If a man has not asked you for commitment & does not refer to you as his girlfriend, it is safe to assume he does not consider the relationship monogamous, regardless if he is actively sleeping with others or not.
You stated your wants very clearly. He is not available to offer you that. I would highly recommend enacting some boundaries & going on a date with someone else soon. There are plenty, plenty, plenty of men in the world.
x
Hortense
