Get Real
Dear Hortense,
I am in a wonderful relationship with someone I had my doubts about, but every day I fall more & more in love with him. He is amazing in all areas & I feel completely devoted to him. I feel safe & at home when I am with him.
He not does feel like that it seems. His body language tells me he isn't that into me. He is on the neurodivergent spectrum & from a really buttoned up culture. He says he likes/loves me, so it’s not that I’m too fat or ugly.
I feel so heartbroken today. I deleted his number so I wouldn't text him, but checking my phone every 5 minutes to nothing. He doesn't like to text much.
I feel it would overstep his boundary if I psychoanalyze him again. He is an amazing & weird & complex person, but so easy, simple & caring to be around.
So what do I do? The only way he will express his love & devotion is if we talk through his emotional wound. Am I supposed to just let something silly keep us from this beautiful relationship?
I feel like he does not love me “enough” and that I am giving “too much.”
He gives me little crumbs & I keep hanging by his every word, but I truly think it is because he has never liked a woman as much as likes me. He tells me this & I feel it from his body language, bu it is “not enough” for me. I have been adored by men I didn't any & now the tables are turned. I adore him & cannot control it.
- In A Wonderful Relationship
Dear In A Wonderful Relationship,
Your idea of a wonderful relationship is one where he gives you crumbs & you hang on every word. You & I both know this is not true.
You're allowed to express what you want longterm & express how you feel. I always experience deep anxiety when I know I'm not going to hear the answer I want.
When I manifested my now husband, we never even had to have this type conversation because both of our desires, intentions & goals were completely transparent & aligned from the start. After so many years of being afraid to ask for what I want from my partners, I had no choice other than to manifest a relationship as direct & open as the one I am in, because otherwise I was not interested in being in a relationship.
Read your letter again. If your friend came to you & said all of this, what would you tell her?
It's time to do what you know you need to do. Don't waste.
xo
Hortense
